Post by Burter on Oct 1, 2010 3:02:22 GMT -5
Burter awakened as the sun began to rise. He glanced out his window to see it barely peaking out in between the pink and purple clouds that covered almost every corner of the sky. He got to his feet, walked down the hallway, and entered the bathroom. Burter sat on the toilet and he dropped a deuce just like he had a hundred mornings before, he always carbo loaded before he went to sleep to give him an edge in the training he knew he would undergo the following day but it also left him feeling rather full every morning. Once he had finished he stepped into the shower. The cool clear water shot into his face and cascaded down his bright blue chest. As he scrubbed he began to lose himself in his thoughts.
“My training has reached a plateau. Everyday I wake up soar as hell from pounding the snot out of Recoome and Jeice and in turn getting my face stomped into the ground. But no matter how much we seem to train our bodies and get in serious hardcore battles, he just stay the same…. It’s pointless. I am already the strongest in the world maybe I should just take up golf, there is nothing left for me in the martial arts world.” BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP Burter heard the microwave screech in the kitchen and it snapped him back into his senses. He finished washing himself and took particular care in cleaning the burn wound on his right leg that Jeice put there the day before with a slightly off target ki explosion.
Burter stepped out of the shower grabbed a large blue cotton towel and dried himself off, he got dressed, and went in the kitchen to eat his breakfast. Thursday was Recoome’s day to make breakfast and he only made one thing, pancakes. Burter just sat there eating his pancakes; smothered in maple syrup and butter. Jeice and Recoome were also at the table having an argument about whether iron man or the teenage mutant ninja turtles would win in a fight. Burter just sat there tuning his friends out, still uncertain of what to do with his life.
BURTER STOOD UP NEARLY KNOCKING OVER THE BREAKFAST TABLE
“THAT’S IT”
“Whats the matter mate? Not enough blueberries for ya?”
“Shut up you Australian sperm dumpster, I know what I am going to do with my life.” retorted Burter
“Oh oh oh this is gonna be just like an episode of Phineas and Ferb; so Burter what are WE GOING TO DO TODAAAAAY?”
“I am going to become a superhero!” exclaimed the enthusiastic blue alien.
“OK mate and I know just where to start.”
“What do you mean? We just go and bust up some bad guys, maybe save some dames in distress.”
“No no no no no nooo mate first ya gotta look the part, meaning we to get you a costume..”
“I want a costume to Jeice, let me have a costume.” butted in Recoome.
So our three young heroes took to the sky (flight was after all considered to be a super power to most people) to Jeice’s cousin’s costume shop in South City. Burter smiled subconsciously when he heard they were going to South City because it that cesspool of a city would be the perfect place to start fighting crime.
What happened next was the real life equivalent of a woman shopping scene from a romantic comedy. Jeice’s ambiguously gay cousin had the three most powerful fighters on the face of the Earth trying on dozens of ridiculous, often frilly costumes. They eventually came to settle on three sets of saiyan grade battle armor, giant shoulder attachments included. This battle armor would become their costume, a symbol of hope to those in despair. Nah it was not just a costume the three nearly matching suits of battle armor would become a uniform, a uniform of the world’s newest most elite crime fighting force, The Burter Special Forces.
“Hey guys maybe, maybe we should come up with like a a pose or something, like something that criminals would see when we first arrive on the scene to strike fear into them.” suggested Recoome
“That is by far the stupidest thing you have said all day Recoome, sometimes you make me wish I had to time machine so I could go back in time to when you mom was seven years old and I would stick my boot down her throat, choking her to death, and preventing you from ever being born and saying such recockulous statements. I mean I am a seven feet tall giant blue alien, you are a 6 foot 8 giant freakish child molesting looking creep, and Jeice your…. Your….. Your Orange god dammit what more do you need to strike fear in the hearts of criminals? Batman would be ashamed of you guys.”
The men purchased their uniforms and went out on patrol of South City. Jeice saved a cat stuck up in a tree. Recoome punched a guy because he was jaywalking, and the man told him that was against the law, Recoome immediately apologized for punching the man in his face although in his unconscious state the Burter force decided to just run away and caulk it up to experience. Burter waited and let Jeice and Recoome handle all the small time stuff, as he wanted his first time to be special. While Jeice and Burter forcibly pulled over a man who was speeding, a plane flying over head sucked a hawk through one of its engines. The plane fell into a nose dive, Burter only had seconds to act and he knew this one was up to him (Jeice and Recoome would never make it in time but Burter could because after all he was the fastest in the universe.) He jetted over to the front of the plane, grabbed onto the nose and lifted up as hard as he could. Burter had saved the day. A large smile spread across his face, he had finally made it out of his rut.
Word Count = 1019
“My training has reached a plateau. Everyday I wake up soar as hell from pounding the snot out of Recoome and Jeice and in turn getting my face stomped into the ground. But no matter how much we seem to train our bodies and get in serious hardcore battles, he just stay the same…. It’s pointless. I am already the strongest in the world maybe I should just take up golf, there is nothing left for me in the martial arts world.” BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP Burter heard the microwave screech in the kitchen and it snapped him back into his senses. He finished washing himself and took particular care in cleaning the burn wound on his right leg that Jeice put there the day before with a slightly off target ki explosion.
Burter stepped out of the shower grabbed a large blue cotton towel and dried himself off, he got dressed, and went in the kitchen to eat his breakfast. Thursday was Recoome’s day to make breakfast and he only made one thing, pancakes. Burter just sat there eating his pancakes; smothered in maple syrup and butter. Jeice and Recoome were also at the table having an argument about whether iron man or the teenage mutant ninja turtles would win in a fight. Burter just sat there tuning his friends out, still uncertain of what to do with his life.
BURTER STOOD UP NEARLY KNOCKING OVER THE BREAKFAST TABLE
“THAT’S IT”
“Whats the matter mate? Not enough blueberries for ya?”
“Shut up you Australian sperm dumpster, I know what I am going to do with my life.” retorted Burter
“Oh oh oh this is gonna be just like an episode of Phineas and Ferb; so Burter what are WE GOING TO DO TODAAAAAY?”
“I am going to become a superhero!” exclaimed the enthusiastic blue alien.
“OK mate and I know just where to start.”
“What do you mean? We just go and bust up some bad guys, maybe save some dames in distress.”
“No no no no no nooo mate first ya gotta look the part, meaning we to get you a costume..”
“I want a costume to Jeice, let me have a costume.” butted in Recoome.
So our three young heroes took to the sky (flight was after all considered to be a super power to most people) to Jeice’s cousin’s costume shop in South City. Burter smiled subconsciously when he heard they were going to South City because it that cesspool of a city would be the perfect place to start fighting crime.
What happened next was the real life equivalent of a woman shopping scene from a romantic comedy. Jeice’s ambiguously gay cousin had the three most powerful fighters on the face of the Earth trying on dozens of ridiculous, often frilly costumes. They eventually came to settle on three sets of saiyan grade battle armor, giant shoulder attachments included. This battle armor would become their costume, a symbol of hope to those in despair. Nah it was not just a costume the three nearly matching suits of battle armor would become a uniform, a uniform of the world’s newest most elite crime fighting force, The Burter Special Forces.
“Hey guys maybe, maybe we should come up with like a a pose or something, like something that criminals would see when we first arrive on the scene to strike fear into them.” suggested Recoome
“That is by far the stupidest thing you have said all day Recoome, sometimes you make me wish I had to time machine so I could go back in time to when you mom was seven years old and I would stick my boot down her throat, choking her to death, and preventing you from ever being born and saying such recockulous statements. I mean I am a seven feet tall giant blue alien, you are a 6 foot 8 giant freakish child molesting looking creep, and Jeice your…. Your….. Your Orange god dammit what more do you need to strike fear in the hearts of criminals? Batman would be ashamed of you guys.”
The men purchased their uniforms and went out on patrol of South City. Jeice saved a cat stuck up in a tree. Recoome punched a guy because he was jaywalking, and the man told him that was against the law, Recoome immediately apologized for punching the man in his face although in his unconscious state the Burter force decided to just run away and caulk it up to experience. Burter waited and let Jeice and Recoome handle all the small time stuff, as he wanted his first time to be special. While Jeice and Burter forcibly pulled over a man who was speeding, a plane flying over head sucked a hawk through one of its engines. The plane fell into a nose dive, Burter only had seconds to act and he knew this one was up to him (Jeice and Recoome would never make it in time but Burter could because after all he was the fastest in the universe.) He jetted over to the front of the plane, grabbed onto the nose and lifted up as hard as he could. Burter had saved the day. A large smile spread across his face, he had finally made it out of his rut.
Word Count = 1019