Post by Turles on Dec 7, 2008 22:34:17 GMT -5
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OH SHIT!!!!!!
The hover car hit, a few moments later Turles regained his senses and realized what had happened. The road was landmined and his hover car hit. The driver was slumped over the wheel, dead. Unfortunately the driver's death was only a small victory, and Turles was surrounded by rogue bandits, and at least 15 LVL. 65 goblin sappers. This didn't look good, Turles had no idea how the fuck WoW worked but decided to just start shooting ki blasts at them. Luckily for him the goblins failed at life and succumbed to the heat. When all were down and thoughts of what the fuck WoW was left him, the bandits attacked. Turles whipped a splitter ball at one of them, the bandit stood no chance of dodging in and died as it hit. A hard punch from behind staggered him, right into a sharp kick to the face. He fell, but quickly got back up. There had to have been at least 100 to 125 bandits, most with ki blasters. After the crash Turles was in no condition to fight back, they would overcome him by sheer force of numbers.
Why?...why are you attacking me?...why were there mines in the road?
All you need to know is that you have a price. You are wanted, and we are fulfilling our contract. At any price!
That just brings up even more questions. Who would have put a price on my head?
Someone with money thats who. Now get up, you're coming with us.
The bandits tied and blindfolded Turles, then knocked him unconcious and threw him into the back of a sweet conversion van (what conversion van isn't sweet?). Turles swam in and out of conciouness, hearing odd parts of conversations along the way.
...Nappa fucking a goat!...
...fucked a disgusting whore and blamed it on being drunk...
...pixies, dragons, ponies, stickers, and Myspace.com!
Wait...that last one sounded a lot like Vegeta, fucking a disgusting whore sounded like Whortman, and Nappa sure sounded a lot like Nappa... Turles thought as he regained full awareness. He could still tell he was in the back of the van, by the pitching and rolling and such. He worked off the blindfold, and easily ripped apart his handcuffs. Yes, for some reason he spent time working off his blindfold when he could have easily used his hands, its my story so shut up? Turles then snuck up upon the driver and held his palm to his ear.
You hear that boy?
Yes! Yes I can, it IS the ocean.
NO FOOL! It is I, Turles, take me to whoever ordered this hit on me.
Sure whatever you say mister....umm can I hear the ocean again?
Yea fine just get me there pronto! Turles placed his hand back over the simpletons ear and waited. Noticing the economic infrastructure he had never noticed before. The ride came to a sudden stop and the driver pounched onto Turles in his off balanced state.
GOTCHA BITCH! Turles simply held his hand back over the driver's ear but this time let a ki blast go. He rolled the fool off of him and walked in side the one building around.
Strange, this place feels familiar. Think Think! he thought.
Turles do you need help with your bags?
Not now chief I'm in the fucking zone!
Turles walked as if guided by a precognition or deja vu sense. After he got to the 7th floor he realized why everything felt so familiar, it was his apartment, the one he shared with Nappa and Vegeta. He drew closer to his door and slowly opened the door. It was dark in the room, he crept closer to the light switch and...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TURLES!!!
No Nappa you fool it is his birthday. So what do you think, best birthday surprise ever?
Of course, man I love killing random people just because they think they are important and have a role when really they were just there to be part of a slaughter for my present!
Exactly now don't cream in you pants too much, Nappa set up the party.
Oh shi--Oh nevermind I'll just do how I always do.
Turles then proceeded to the fridge to grab a few beers, a 30 pack later he was wasted and loving it. He even got some random disease for his birthday courtesy of some even more random whore. All in all a great birthday.
Word Count: 746
The hover car hit, a few moments later Turles regained his senses and realized what had happened. The road was landmined and his hover car hit. The driver was slumped over the wheel, dead. Unfortunately the driver's death was only a small victory, and Turles was surrounded by rogue bandits, and at least 15 LVL. 65 goblin sappers. This didn't look good, Turles had no idea how the fuck WoW worked but decided to just start shooting ki blasts at them. Luckily for him the goblins failed at life and succumbed to the heat. When all were down and thoughts of what the fuck WoW was left him, the bandits attacked. Turles whipped a splitter ball at one of them, the bandit stood no chance of dodging in and died as it hit. A hard punch from behind staggered him, right into a sharp kick to the face. He fell, but quickly got back up. There had to have been at least 100 to 125 bandits, most with ki blasters. After the crash Turles was in no condition to fight back, they would overcome him by sheer force of numbers.
Why?...why are you attacking me?...why were there mines in the road?
All you need to know is that you have a price. You are wanted, and we are fulfilling our contract. At any price!
That just brings up even more questions. Who would have put a price on my head?
Someone with money thats who. Now get up, you're coming with us.
The bandits tied and blindfolded Turles, then knocked him unconcious and threw him into the back of a sweet conversion van (what conversion van isn't sweet?). Turles swam in and out of conciouness, hearing odd parts of conversations along the way.
...Nappa fucking a goat!...
...fucked a disgusting whore and blamed it on being drunk...
...pixies, dragons, ponies, stickers, and Myspace.com!
Wait...that last one sounded a lot like Vegeta, fucking a disgusting whore sounded like Whortman, and Nappa sure sounded a lot like Nappa... Turles thought as he regained full awareness. He could still tell he was in the back of the van, by the pitching and rolling and such. He worked off the blindfold, and easily ripped apart his handcuffs. Yes, for some reason he spent time working off his blindfold when he could have easily used his hands, its my story so shut up? Turles then snuck up upon the driver and held his palm to his ear.
You hear that boy?
Yes! Yes I can, it IS the ocean.
NO FOOL! It is I, Turles, take me to whoever ordered this hit on me.
Sure whatever you say mister....umm can I hear the ocean again?
Yea fine just get me there pronto! Turles placed his hand back over the simpletons ear and waited. Noticing the economic infrastructure he had never noticed before. The ride came to a sudden stop and the driver pounched onto Turles in his off balanced state.
GOTCHA BITCH! Turles simply held his hand back over the driver's ear but this time let a ki blast go. He rolled the fool off of him and walked in side the one building around.
Strange, this place feels familiar. Think Think! he thought.
Turles do you need help with your bags?
Not now chief I'm in the fucking zone!
Turles walked as if guided by a precognition or deja vu sense. After he got to the 7th floor he realized why everything felt so familiar, it was his apartment, the one he shared with Nappa and Vegeta. He drew closer to his door and slowly opened the door. It was dark in the room, he crept closer to the light switch and...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TURLES!!!
No Nappa you fool it is his birthday. So what do you think, best birthday surprise ever?
Of course, man I love killing random people just because they think they are important and have a role when really they were just there to be part of a slaughter for my present!
Exactly now don't cream in you pants too much, Nappa set up the party.
Oh shi--Oh nevermind I'll just do how I always do.
Turles then proceeded to the fridge to grab a few beers, a 30 pack later he was wasted and loving it. He even got some random disease for his birthday courtesy of some even more random whore. All in all a great birthday.
Word Count: 746