Post by Frieza on Dec 4, 2008 14:20:19 GMT -5
“I should totally be a rapper for a living” thought Frieza. “It can’t be that hard. Look at Lil Wayne. He is horrible but he makes millions. And Lil John. All he does is scream ‘Yeah’ and ‘ok’ and everyone wants to buy his music.”
So Frieza sets out on his mission to become a world wide phenom oh rap. He decides he doesn’t feel like making his own beats so he goes to a record store. “Hey look Celine Dion is behind you!” After distracting the crazed Dion fan whose nametag read “Scott”, Frieza is able to steal all the C.D. beats he could find in the store and makes his way make to his house.
After going throughout the town stealing many of the things needed to be able to record his music, Frieza is ready to record his music. “Well the clear way to start any song is to say your name about fifteen times and say “yeah” and “uhhh” a lot.”
“YEAH! WHAT! FRIEZA BITCHES! Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Uhhh…. HAHAHA! FRIEZA IN THE HOUSE! Uhhh. What! Your Gonna Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. WHAT! Frieza is here. WHAT! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
After trying to record the intro to his song many times, and being unable to due to laughter, Frieza finally succeeds. Confident that he can continue with this song .
“Creepin……
I’m a creep, I’m a freak. Gonna cut ya in the feet, Gonna stab ya in the heart and make ya bleed til your weak. Everybody must die and I don’t care why. With these bitches at your wake and I’ll laugh as they cry. But don’t be scared of me I’m just a regular guy. I have these visions in my brain and their tearing me apart. Finding out you’re the reason your kids have tears in their eye. Comin home to find their dead daddy, what a surprise. Family is my all but I can’t hide these thoughts. I’m a serial killer deep down in my heart.
I’m a serial killer who makes ya blood spill. Go ahead and hate me its not a big deal. I just show up at your house while you have your last supper. And make you my next victim cause I’m a sick M*****fucker.”
“Wow… I really suck at horror core rap.” thought Frieza. “I should leave that the Crazy Clowns of ICP. They keep it fresh.”
So Frieza takes off on trying to make a different type of music. To seek help with this task, Frieza throws in some old school Eminem. After listening to it for a long time and trying multiple times, the best idea he ever had comes to him faster then Greg cums from a blowjob…. Or hand job…. Or anything….
Ten hours later Frieza shows up at his destination. Confident that what he is about to do is the correct thing, he sneaks around to the entrance of the building he is at. “Psssst. Little girl come here.”
“What creepy guy?”
Frieza punches her really hard in the face and grabs what she had in her hand and goes through the entrance, showing off the paper to hide any suspicion. Trying to stay as hidden as possible, Frieza sneaks through the crowd of masses to find the correct spot to go to. Re-checking the paper, Frieza heads in the right direction.
“Was that the Scott guy I punched in the face earlier I just saw pass me?”
And then it happens. Everyone in the crowd of people starts cheering. Music starts playing. And Celine Dion starts her concert. Frieza cheers louder than anyone there. “Yeah baby! Go Celine Dion. Yoooourrrr Heeerrre. Theres nooooooothing I feeear. Hell yes! Why didn’t I think of this earlier. My job in life is to kill people and take over the planet, maybe get a little stoned every now and then. Its Celine’s job to…. HEY! BITCH! Get the hell out of my way! I can’t see Celine!”
Frieza KI blasts the woman in the face causing a mass riot to take place. Celine leaves the stage and Frieza leaves disappointed. Outside, Frieza once again sees this Scott guy standing near the exit. Scott walks up to Frieza and kicks him really, really, really hard in the testicles.
“I hate you! You ruined Celine Dion for me! You better not be going to the Jovi concert tomorrow or I’ll kick your ass!”
And with that, Frieza realizes what she must do.
“One ticket for tomorrow night to see Bon Jovi play or I’ll rip your head off.”
Word Count: 754
If anyone asks about the greg joke. Its fuckin hilarious. I'll tell you if you guys want to know.
So Frieza sets out on his mission to become a world wide phenom oh rap. He decides he doesn’t feel like making his own beats so he goes to a record store. “Hey look Celine Dion is behind you!” After distracting the crazed Dion fan whose nametag read “Scott”, Frieza is able to steal all the C.D. beats he could find in the store and makes his way make to his house.
After going throughout the town stealing many of the things needed to be able to record his music, Frieza is ready to record his music. “Well the clear way to start any song is to say your name about fifteen times and say “yeah” and “uhhh” a lot.”
“YEAH! WHAT! FRIEZA BITCHES! Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Uhhh…. HAHAHA! FRIEZA IN THE HOUSE! Uhhh. What! Your Gonna Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. WHAT! Frieza is here. WHAT! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
After trying to record the intro to his song many times, and being unable to due to laughter, Frieza finally succeeds. Confident that he can continue with this song .
“Creepin……
I’m a creep, I’m a freak. Gonna cut ya in the feet, Gonna stab ya in the heart and make ya bleed til your weak. Everybody must die and I don’t care why. With these bitches at your wake and I’ll laugh as they cry. But don’t be scared of me I’m just a regular guy. I have these visions in my brain and their tearing me apart. Finding out you’re the reason your kids have tears in their eye. Comin home to find their dead daddy, what a surprise. Family is my all but I can’t hide these thoughts. I’m a serial killer deep down in my heart.
I’m a serial killer who makes ya blood spill. Go ahead and hate me its not a big deal. I just show up at your house while you have your last supper. And make you my next victim cause I’m a sick M*****fucker.”
“Wow… I really suck at horror core rap.” thought Frieza. “I should leave that the Crazy Clowns of ICP. They keep it fresh.”
So Frieza takes off on trying to make a different type of music. To seek help with this task, Frieza throws in some old school Eminem. After listening to it for a long time and trying multiple times, the best idea he ever had comes to him faster then Greg cums from a blowjob…. Or hand job…. Or anything….
Ten hours later Frieza shows up at his destination. Confident that what he is about to do is the correct thing, he sneaks around to the entrance of the building he is at. “Psssst. Little girl come here.”
“What creepy guy?”
Frieza punches her really hard in the face and grabs what she had in her hand and goes through the entrance, showing off the paper to hide any suspicion. Trying to stay as hidden as possible, Frieza sneaks through the crowd of masses to find the correct spot to go to. Re-checking the paper, Frieza heads in the right direction.
“Was that the Scott guy I punched in the face earlier I just saw pass me?”
And then it happens. Everyone in the crowd of people starts cheering. Music starts playing. And Celine Dion starts her concert. Frieza cheers louder than anyone there. “Yeah baby! Go Celine Dion. Yoooourrrr Heeerrre. Theres nooooooothing I feeear. Hell yes! Why didn’t I think of this earlier. My job in life is to kill people and take over the planet, maybe get a little stoned every now and then. Its Celine’s job to…. HEY! BITCH! Get the hell out of my way! I can’t see Celine!”
Frieza KI blasts the woman in the face causing a mass riot to take place. Celine leaves the stage and Frieza leaves disappointed. Outside, Frieza once again sees this Scott guy standing near the exit. Scott walks up to Frieza and kicks him really, really, really hard in the testicles.
“I hate you! You ruined Celine Dion for me! You better not be going to the Jovi concert tomorrow or I’ll kick your ass!”
And with that, Frieza realizes what she must do.
“One ticket for tomorrow night to see Bon Jovi play or I’ll rip your head off.”
Word Count: 754
If anyone asks about the greg joke. Its fuckin hilarious. I'll tell you if you guys want to know.