Post by Frieza on Dec 1, 2008 20:47:27 GMT -5
Frieza was sleeping in the countryside when he was awakened by an ear-splitting scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What the heck was that?" thought Frieza out loud. "Who's butt am I kicking today?"
Frieza decided to go and investigate since, now that he was woken prematurely, he had nothing better to. After standing up and searching the horizon, and seeing nothing but trees and homeless people hitting each other with sticks, Frieza decided he would start his search for the pansy who’s scream awoke him from his dream about Indiana Jones.
“I hate Steven Spielberg for ruining Indy for me.” Frieza thinks aloud, his fury building up. “And George Lucas too. I HATE THEM BOTH!”
Without notice and at a furious pace of speed, Frieza sprints off to find the screaming pansy who woke him screaming “This is for Indiana Jones!”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I can’t believe this! I am a ruined man now!”
“There it is again. It sounds like it was coming from the left. I better find out what’s going on so I can go back to bed.”
After four more minutes of running at his breakneck speed, Frieza sees a little hut with four people standing outside it. Realizing this must be where that annoying, obnoxious screaming was coming from, Frieza runs over to it.
“Ah Frieza! Gah, err, uhh w-w-welcome. Uhm. How are you today?”
“Shut it Roshi. What are you screaming about? It better be worth it to wake me up!”
“Ah. Well, yes! It is a very important reason as a matter of fact! I need help with something. Should any of the four of you help me, I will reward you handsomely.”
“Now that’s the type of thing I like to hear. Now who are these other three losers I have to go up against? LOSERS!”
“Well I’ll let them introduce themselves. Go ahead guys”
“Hello Frieza. Don’t get any ideas that you are going to win this reward. Its all mine!”
“Hah! You keep thinking that Tien! Your nothing more then trash to me.”
“Well I see you two have met before. I doubt you know these other two though. They showed up together.”
“Hi! I’m George Lucas! Nice to meet you!”
“And I’m Steven Spielberg! How are you buddy!”
“WHAT! May Hell’s fury unleash upon your souls!”
Frieza can’t control himself and attacks George and Steven. Throwing punches left and right with kicks now and again, Frieza punishes them for their raping of such a classic film. With bones being shattered with each and every new attack, Frieza leaves them leaned against the hut hoping they have a long and painful death approaching them.
“Well, George, hopefully we are healed in time to finish our re-make of The Godfather in time for the summer blockbuster season.”
“GO TO HELL!”
And with that, Frieza unleashes a Focused Kick at George and Steven, decapitating them with as much ease as tearing a piece of paper with one’s hands. Satisfied with his work, Frieza walks over and picks up the heads. As he turns back around to walk back he notices Tien smiling and Roshi shaking with fear.
“Thanks Frieza. I always wanted to do that but I am just too lazy to do anything.”
“No problem. I hated those jerks. They got what they deserved! So anyway Roshi, what do you need us for?”
“Ye, uh, what? O-o-oh. Right. Well the thing is, I was in West City today to buy my daily nude mag - I MEAN TRAINING DEVICES - when I realized I lost my money. 1000 Zeni! Can you believe it? Anyway, I need those mag - I mean training devices - badly. If you can get the money back for me, I will reward you with something I think you will find to your liking.”
“Wait. That sack of money was yours? Hahaha I saw that before. I didn’t have room in my pockets so I hid it behind the mailbox on the east side. Oh God this is going to be easy. . .”
So while Tien sits there bragging about how easily he shall get the reward, Frieza takes off towards the mailbox on the east side of West City. After running for a few minutes, Frieza looked back to see if Tien realized his mistake yet.
“That guy is such an idiot. Its no wonder I am always better than him at everything. He’s too stupid to be good at….”
“HA HA!”
Tien came out of nowhere and stabs Frieza in the eye with a stick.
“Ow! What the hell why would you do that? Where did you come from? I HATE YOU!”
“Stick tag. No tag backs. Bitch.”
The race was on. Tien and Frieza were running towards the city, which was now in sight, neck and neck. It would be a battle to the finish. Out of nowhere Tien got a burst of speed and started to pull away from Frieza. All hope seemed lost until Tien suddenly stopped just inside the gates of the city.
“What are you doing? Afraid to lose to me Tien!”
“Sorry but I mean look at this. I am so damn good looking!”
“YOU STOPPED TO LOOK IN A MIRROR?! Why!”
“Cause, like…. I’m hot.”
“I hate you. But your right. You are hot. And for this I think I’ll give you some…. Head.”
With that Frieza takes out George Lucas’ disembodied head and throws it at Tien. With his quick thinking ability, Tien grabs the mirror and uses it to block the head hurtling towards him”
“Hah! You’ll never defeat me!”
“Your right. I guess I’ll never de… LOOK OUT! Edge is behind you about to spear you!”
As Tien turns to avoid the devastating maneuver, Frieza throws the head of Steven Spielberg at him, knocking him over into the grass.
“Wow. You knocked me over what is that going to do. You’re an idiot Frieza!”
“Stop RIGHT THERE! Can’t you see the sign? ‘Keep Off The Grass’. It is clearly written right there. Your coming with me buddy.”
“No! Ahhh I hate you Frieza. Next time your mine!”
After his heated, and somewhat retarded, battle with Tien, Frieza walks over to the mailbox and grabs the bag of money. After tossing the money in his hand and contemplating just running off with the money, Frieza decides to return the money to Roshi to claim his reward. After a long walk back to Roshi’s hut, Frieza opens the door to claim his reward.
“Woah who is it? Oh its just you Frieza. Do you have my money?”
“Sure, Roshi. Hey Roshi why are your pants down? And why are you looking at a magazine with naked guys in it?”
“Its. Uhm… m-m-my training manual!”
“Whatever. Queerbag. Just give me my reward.”
Word Count: 1135
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What the heck was that?" thought Frieza out loud. "Who's butt am I kicking today?"
Frieza decided to go and investigate since, now that he was woken prematurely, he had nothing better to. After standing up and searching the horizon, and seeing nothing but trees and homeless people hitting each other with sticks, Frieza decided he would start his search for the pansy who’s scream awoke him from his dream about Indiana Jones.
“I hate Steven Spielberg for ruining Indy for me.” Frieza thinks aloud, his fury building up. “And George Lucas too. I HATE THEM BOTH!”
Without notice and at a furious pace of speed, Frieza sprints off to find the screaming pansy who woke him screaming “This is for Indiana Jones!”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I can’t believe this! I am a ruined man now!”
“There it is again. It sounds like it was coming from the left. I better find out what’s going on so I can go back to bed.”
After four more minutes of running at his breakneck speed, Frieza sees a little hut with four people standing outside it. Realizing this must be where that annoying, obnoxious screaming was coming from, Frieza runs over to it.
“Ah Frieza! Gah, err, uhh w-w-welcome. Uhm. How are you today?”
“Shut it Roshi. What are you screaming about? It better be worth it to wake me up!”
“Ah. Well, yes! It is a very important reason as a matter of fact! I need help with something. Should any of the four of you help me, I will reward you handsomely.”
“Now that’s the type of thing I like to hear. Now who are these other three losers I have to go up against? LOSERS!”
“Well I’ll let them introduce themselves. Go ahead guys”
“Hello Frieza. Don’t get any ideas that you are going to win this reward. Its all mine!”
“Hah! You keep thinking that Tien! Your nothing more then trash to me.”
“Well I see you two have met before. I doubt you know these other two though. They showed up together.”
“Hi! I’m George Lucas! Nice to meet you!”
“And I’m Steven Spielberg! How are you buddy!”
“WHAT! May Hell’s fury unleash upon your souls!”
Frieza can’t control himself and attacks George and Steven. Throwing punches left and right with kicks now and again, Frieza punishes them for their raping of such a classic film. With bones being shattered with each and every new attack, Frieza leaves them leaned against the hut hoping they have a long and painful death approaching them.
“Well, George, hopefully we are healed in time to finish our re-make of The Godfather in time for the summer blockbuster season.”
“GO TO HELL!”
And with that, Frieza unleashes a Focused Kick at George and Steven, decapitating them with as much ease as tearing a piece of paper with one’s hands. Satisfied with his work, Frieza walks over and picks up the heads. As he turns back around to walk back he notices Tien smiling and Roshi shaking with fear.
“Thanks Frieza. I always wanted to do that but I am just too lazy to do anything.”
“No problem. I hated those jerks. They got what they deserved! So anyway Roshi, what do you need us for?”
“Ye, uh, what? O-o-oh. Right. Well the thing is, I was in West City today to buy my daily nude mag - I MEAN TRAINING DEVICES - when I realized I lost my money. 1000 Zeni! Can you believe it? Anyway, I need those mag - I mean training devices - badly. If you can get the money back for me, I will reward you with something I think you will find to your liking.”
“Wait. That sack of money was yours? Hahaha I saw that before. I didn’t have room in my pockets so I hid it behind the mailbox on the east side. Oh God this is going to be easy. . .”
So while Tien sits there bragging about how easily he shall get the reward, Frieza takes off towards the mailbox on the east side of West City. After running for a few minutes, Frieza looked back to see if Tien realized his mistake yet.
“That guy is such an idiot. Its no wonder I am always better than him at everything. He’s too stupid to be good at….”
“HA HA!”
Tien came out of nowhere and stabs Frieza in the eye with a stick.
“Ow! What the hell why would you do that? Where did you come from? I HATE YOU!”
“Stick tag. No tag backs. Bitch.”
The race was on. Tien and Frieza were running towards the city, which was now in sight, neck and neck. It would be a battle to the finish. Out of nowhere Tien got a burst of speed and started to pull away from Frieza. All hope seemed lost until Tien suddenly stopped just inside the gates of the city.
“What are you doing? Afraid to lose to me Tien!”
“Sorry but I mean look at this. I am so damn good looking!”
“YOU STOPPED TO LOOK IN A MIRROR?! Why!”
“Cause, like…. I’m hot.”
“I hate you. But your right. You are hot. And for this I think I’ll give you some…. Head.”
With that Frieza takes out George Lucas’ disembodied head and throws it at Tien. With his quick thinking ability, Tien grabs the mirror and uses it to block the head hurtling towards him”
“Hah! You’ll never defeat me!”
“Your right. I guess I’ll never de… LOOK OUT! Edge is behind you about to spear you!”
As Tien turns to avoid the devastating maneuver, Frieza throws the head of Steven Spielberg at him, knocking him over into the grass.
“Wow. You knocked me over what is that going to do. You’re an idiot Frieza!”
“Stop RIGHT THERE! Can’t you see the sign? ‘Keep Off The Grass’. It is clearly written right there. Your coming with me buddy.”
“No! Ahhh I hate you Frieza. Next time your mine!”
After his heated, and somewhat retarded, battle with Tien, Frieza walks over to the mailbox and grabs the bag of money. After tossing the money in his hand and contemplating just running off with the money, Frieza decides to return the money to Roshi to claim his reward. After a long walk back to Roshi’s hut, Frieza opens the door to claim his reward.
“Woah who is it? Oh its just you Frieza. Do you have my money?”
“Sure, Roshi. Hey Roshi why are your pants down? And why are you looking at a magazine with naked guys in it?”
“Its. Uhm… m-m-my training manual!”
“Whatever. Queerbag. Just give me my reward.”
Word Count: 1135